May 12

Before coming to Mitrovica, I worked with my daughter Libby to research and write the city profile for Haifa, which will be used in the program for the Cities in Transition Conference. Writing city profiles for divided cities is difficult because the truth is always layered in so may shades of gray that it can be hard to distinguish at times. Also, even if one can sift through the layers to get to the truth, it can soon be confused when one is forced to weigh in the perspectives of each faction in the divided city. It is therefore frustrating to write these things because you have to be careful not to sound biased in any way. The end product can wind up being so watered-down that it appears meaningless at best. With that said, you can imagine my delight when we got here and they told us they wanted us to write the city profile for Jerusalem, a city that is definitely divided, and a profile that had been written and rejected by the delegates at least three times. Yay… Maybe I can successfully complete this task since it is likely we will run out of time before anyone has a chance to reject the new version before the conference begins! Oh well, I signed on to this job so I can’t really complain, and Jerusalem is a fascinating case study to work on.
On the afternoon of the day I was near finishing the Jerusalem Profile, my new friend, Ardiana, stopped by to get me to go out for a cappuccino. Needing a break badly, I quickly said yes, and we headed off to a café where her friends all hang out. The unemployment rate in Mitrovica is incredibly high, and people, mostly men on the Albanian side of the river, do a lot of “hanging out.” I asked Ardiana how people afford to live with such a high unemployment rate. She told me that in Kosovo, over half of the population is under the age of twenty-five. Education and jobs are huge issues that must be dealt with by the government of this fledgling nation. Ardiana reinforced what I already knew about countries in transition. Families depend on the remittances of someone who leaves to find a job in another country. Although this helps with the immediate needs of the family, it does little to improve the long-term economic stability of a nation that is being stripped of its workforce.
After we discussed the issues that Kosovo faces today, Ardiana began telling me what it was like for her during the war. Her story is haunting, and I am afraid I cannot do it justice here. This saddens me, because it is a story that needs to be told, so I will do my best until Ardiana is able to write it herself someday.
Ardiana lived with her mother, father and four siblings in a house next door to her uncle’s family, and down the block from her grandmother’s house. She was thirteen when the war reached its peak in 1998-1999. At this time, she frequently witnessed her Muslim-Albanian neighborhood being oppressed by the Serbian government, and her neighbors and family being persecuted. She told me that soldiers would show up at the door at anytime and question people for no apparent reason. Family members were taken away and “disappeared”, never to be heard from again. People were beaten and raped, and houses were burned to the ground. In Ardiana’s case, I guess she was lucky, if being completely traumatized as a child can be viewed as luck. Around six months before the United States and NATO intervened to stop the ethnic cleansing of the Muslim-Albanians by the Serbs, Ardiana’s father was arrested during the night and taken away. Soldiers came back the next day and attempted to split the family apart. They were going to take her brother and her away from her mother, but for no reason that she can figure out, they wound up leaving them behind. The soldiers told them all that her father was dead, and then they went down the street and burned her grandmother’s house to the ground. Six months later, after the US and NATO forces had successfully stopped the Serbian occupation of what is now Kosovo, Ardiana was visiting her uncle’s house when the door opened, and her father walked in. He had been released from prison, and having been told that his family was dead, he went to his brother’s home and was shocked to find his family there. Shortly after this, her grandmother, who was quite sick, asked to be taken back to view what was left of the home that had been burned to the ground. According to Ardiana, she was at peace when she died in the shell of her burned out home later that evening.
As Ardiana told me the story she had tears in her eyes, and she got the shakes. I asked how Mitrovica could come together after such tragedy, and she said that the Mitrovican Serbs, for the most part, were not the ones doing the killing, but she added that she believes they need to acknowledge what happened and apologize. If they do that, she believe her city can heal at some time in the future, but not now, not yet.
Later that night I met Ardiana’s family, except for one brother who now works outside of the country. Her sisters made me Turkish coffee over a gas burner because the electricity was out, and her mother showed me photos by candlelight, of her entire extended family. These pictures were the only things her grandmother had been able to save when her house was burned down.
When it was time to go, Ardiana borrowed her “daddy’s” car to drive me back to the South-side apartment. Ardiana rarely crosses the bridge, never without a group, and never at night. Talking about my staying on the North side was very stressful for her, and she seemed certain that it was not safe. I was glad that we could still stay in the apartment whenever we got tied up on the South-side after dark.
There are certain events in life that don’t fade with the passage of time. For me, I am certain that the time I shared with Ardiana in Mitrovica will remain vivid in my memory forever.